Dec. 18, 2015

I'm Not In Control

“I cannot make you understand. I cannot make anyone understand what is happening inside me. I cannot even explain it to myself.”  Franz Kafka


I think most people have felt this sentiment at some point in their life.  I know I have.  I think I have felt this at many stages in my life.  Whether I was experiencing childhood insecurities, teenaged angst or questions as a young adult there were many times my feelings were inexplicable to me and I surely could not articulate them.  There have been times when I have acted on what I thought I should do or not do.   Now in my early 50’s there are many emotions and thoughts in my heart and in my head.  I don’t understand them and I do not know what to do with them.  But, I do know at this point in my life the best course of action is to meditate on what is happening, read, grow and do the next right thing.  My impulses and my instinct need to take a back seat to what my God and the universe has in store for me.  I don’t think I am supposed to understand yet.