Stringing Together a Few 24 Hours
“Slept, awoke, slept, awoke, miserable life.” Franz Kafka
(Diaries-Sunday, July 19)
I have often felt this way in recovery. Sleep, get up, pray & meditate, read the big book, go to meetings, work the steps, call my sponsor, don’t drink, thank God before I go to bed that I didn’t drink. Sleep and get up and do it all over again. I considered this a miserable life. Exhausting. This was just what I had to do to stay sober! I still had to live a regular life involving work, family and other responsibilities. I would be so mad that I had to work so hard just not to take a drink. I wanted to know why I couldn’t I stop at that first drink? I was furious. I have thought numerous times as I sit in meetings, “How in the world am I going to do this for the rest of my life?” That’s the best part of recovery. I don’t have to worry about the rest of my life. I only have to worry about today. When I look at how my life progressed to revolving around alcohol and the obsession to drink, I know doing what is suggested to me will save my life. I am now beginning to see this roadmap of sober living as a gift for a life that isn’t so miserable after all.