Dec. 20, 2015

Stringing Together a Few 24 Hours

“Slept, awoke, slept, awoke, miserable life.”  Franz Kafka

 (Diaries-Sunday, July 19)

I have often felt this way in recovery.  Sleep, get up, pray & meditate, read the big book, go to meetings, work the steps, call my sponsor, don’t drink, thank God before I go to bed that I didn’t drink.  Sleep and get up and do it all over again.  I considered this a miserable life.  Exhausting.  This was just what I had to do to stay sober!  I still had to live a regular life involving work, family and other responsibilities.  I would be so mad that I had to work so hard just not to take a drink.  I wanted to know why I couldn’t I stop at that first drink?  I was furious.  I have thought numerous times as I sit in meetings, “How in the world am I going to do this for the rest of my life?”  That’s the best part of recovery.  I don’t have to worry about the rest of my life.   I only have to worry about today.  When I look at how my life progressed to revolving around alcohol and the obsession to drink, I know doing what is suggested to me will save my life.  I am now beginning to see this roadmap of sober living as a gift for a life that isn’t so miserable after all.