Jan. 1, 2016

Cheers to the New Year! 2016!

“When I have acted like a human being for a few hours, I am already full of conceit before I go to sleep.”  Franz Kafka (Diaries

 

I have been sober on many a New Year’s Eve.  Last night was not any different.  I spent the evening with other members of my 12 Step group and our families.  I didn’t drink New Year’s Eve a year ago.  Even though I was not drinking my disease was looming.  This is why I chose to drink again in May 2015.  I had been acting human for a few 24 hours and I thought I had this licked.  An alcoholic never licks alcoholism.  Alcoholism is a disease that wants to make the alcoholic think, “I’m feeling good; I haven’t a drink in a while and I can drink successfully this time.”  Recovery teaches me to look at my patterns.  My pattern is when I am sober for a while I get full of myself.  I begin thinking, “This time I have got this; I can drink and things will be different.” Things were different.  They were worse.  In the past, early sobriety has been easier for me than being sober for a year.  After a while I forget I must continue to work my program of recovery.  On this 1st day of 2016 I am going to remember my past, but not regret it.  Today is all I have and I am going to stay sober.  I plan on doing the same thing tomorrow, but I am not worried about that right now.