Cheers to the New Year! 2016!
“When I have acted like a human being for a few hours, I am already full of conceit before I go to sleep.” Franz Kafka (Diaries)
I have been sober on many a New Year’s Eve. Last night was not any different. I spent the evening with other members of my 12 Step group and our families. I didn’t drink New Year’s Eve a year ago. Even though I was not drinking my disease was looming. This is why I chose to drink again in May 2015. I had been acting human for a few 24 hours and I thought I had this licked. An alcoholic never licks alcoholism. Alcoholism is a disease that wants to make the alcoholic think, “I’m feeling good; I haven’t a drink in a while and I can drink successfully this time.” Recovery teaches me to look at my patterns. My pattern is when I am sober for a while I get full of myself. I begin thinking, “This time I have got this; I can drink and things will be different.” Things were different. They were worse. In the past, early sobriety has been easier for me than being sober for a year. After a while I forget I must continue to work my program of recovery. On this 1st day of 2016 I am going to remember my past, but not regret it. Today is all I have and I am going to stay sober. I plan on doing the same thing tomorrow, but I am not worried about that right now.