Cookie Stoner

I was born in Mobile, Alabama in 1962.  When I was a little girl I wanted to be a waitress and live in a trailer when I grew up.  My parents bought a house in a neighborhood and crushed my dreams by providing me with the path of a future which included getting an education and being independent.  They provided me with a good life by working hard and teaching me that same work ethic.   We moved a lot.  I went to 4 different schools and lived in 5  different houses in my 3rd and 4th Grade year.  My parents did not do this because they were unstable this was the result of seeking better job opportunities for my daddy.  I always knew this, but it did shape who I became.  I learned to fit in wherever I went or I accepted it when I did not fit.  I just went with it.  The best thing I learned was to entertain myself by listening to music, performing, reading, writing or playing with imaginary friends in my room.   I was actually pretty content.  

Until 2003 I had never lived in a home for more than 5 years.  I have lived in my current home for 12 years.  This actually gives me anxiety and comfort at the same time.  

My blog is about my daily journey seeking serenity in what may seem an odd place to some, but he speaks to me.  Franz Kafka.  I am not claiming to have a great intellectual understanding of him, but it makes perfect sense to me. 

I have an English/Applied Communications degree and when I started out in my career I found that I enjoyed writing and being behind the scenes.  But, my first job out of college put me in front of people and from there I always listened to others that I was meant to sell or be in a public position.  The truth is I don't want to be in front of people.  I get anxiety.  It exhausts me.  I would rather express myself through the written word.  

I have been in and out of recovery since 2004 and recently admitted I am truly powerless over alcohol.  Drinking the best bottles of wine out of the finest crystal still makes me the ugliest drunk. My sobriety date is October 31, 2015.  I am happier and more confident when I am clean and sober. I am not always happy.  I am doing a lot of work and I know this is a lifetime journey.   The purpose of my blog is selfishly for me to practice the structure of  reading and writing daily which will remind me I must grow and stay sober.  I must also stay accountable.  I also hope that perhaps someone who needs it will read my blog and stay sane and sober if only for today.  

Cookie Stoner